D att 4am

I live in a haunted house, it is 4 am
My limbs are freezing, once again
The witches and goblins here will kill me
And that will be the end of me.

I feel cold scared and numb
No words, or way out, I feel quite dumb
I feel like I’m being watched day and night
Sudden terrifying images give me fright.

Bad things lurk in the dark
Life used to be a lark
Something funny is coming my way
It wants to hurt me and say:

I stabbed your eyes
I stabbed your tongue
I cut your toes
I sliced you up.

The darkness inside of this house coils
Where I go my blood boils;
If I die the demon will smile
If I die the demon will revile

The life I lived
The girl I was
Each day
Slowly draining

* i te teror 2

No way out nowhere to go
Where I go I do not know
Flighty caged and weak
I hear the voices when I speak.

Quaking aside dark dreams
Of bombs and ghosts and murders
Where do I go? What do I do?
I am scared for my life.

I feel like someone will open up the door
Open it up and peel me out
Eat me and spit out my bones
I’ll die with no tombstone.

Where do I go I don’t know
To an early grave I’ll go
Once more you I salute
I’ll play my magic flute.

Tealcap (Dream Mushroom)

Found: December 27, 2018, growing in shelves out of a living White Oak tree

Pileus: 8-9 cm, convex, lined at the margin, color vivid teal, glabrous, white ridges appressed to the surface

Stipe: 6cm x 4cm, white, dense, curved, equal, no ringzone, hirsute

-younger specimens transparent, with mushier flesh

My oldest friend, how fare thee now?
Though a block in the night separates us—
Your window’s glow practically lights my own—
Yet in my heart you feel more distant still.

Where have the tides of life brought you, these years?
How comes it that you return to this Wood?
My heart leaps for a thousand trite questions;
It returns to the moment you kissed me.

When we were children and all the world fair
Nature had circumscribed blocks for our love
And put up houses without beginning
Or the end which gradually we brought up.

All of that time surrounds me now, and
The fabric between us
That no matter we grow apart
Tethers all is, will be.

Insuperable Gloom

Burnt to the ground
heart a waste

tired and drained

Abandon all that I begin
Empty headed
Ventriloquist

Insuperable gloom
analytical
stuck in my head
Can’t leave

Trapped in
myself
buried   live.

Mycelium of Rage

Found: December 13, 2018. Standing in the kitchen with no lights on behind her.

Head: Dark brown hair falling to her shoulders. Chin a pert bump on her face, eyes twinkling. “Did you use that toilet after the whole incident?”

Disposition: Wrathful. Aggravated. Frustrated. Pessimistic.

Tone: Whining, half-yell.

//

Head: Dark brown hair (long scissor cut on top, four on the sides), cheeks cold from my walk.

Disposition: Confused, indifferent, positive, surprised, empathetic.

Heard: You don’t care about anything.
Maybe you’ll start caring once you own your own home—if you get to that point.

Thoughts afterwards: I do nothing?
I care about nothing?
Focus on your mushroom.

Remembering: Why I left.

//

Found: Amanita oneiria. Growing out of a mesa.

Pileus: ~300 feet, white, umbonate, wavering margin, reminiscent of Inocybe albodisca. Smooth. Unornamented.

Gills: White, crowded, broad, free.

Stipe: 3-400 feet tall x 50 feet wide, colored as cap, membranous veil, smooth but firm.

-I blinked and the mushroom crumbled. Voices on the wind passed through my ears before fading into eternity.